"Someone Like You"

I heard that you're settled down, 
That you found a girl and you're married now, 
I heard that your dreams came true, 
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you, 
Old friend, why are you so shy? 
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light, 

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, 
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it, 
I had hoped you'd see my face, 
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over, 

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you, 
I wish nothing but the best for you, too, 
Don't forget me, I beg, 
I remember you said, 
"Sometimes it lasts in love, 
But sometimes it hurts instead," 
Sometimes it lasts in love, 
But sometimes it hurts instead, yeah, 

You know how the time flies, 
Only yesterday was the time of our lives, 
We were born and raised in a summer haze, 
Bound by the surprise of our glory days, 

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, 
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it, 
I had hoped you'd see my face, 
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you, 
I wish nothing but the best for you, too, 
Don't forget me, I beg, 
I remember you said, 
"Sometimes it lasts in love, 
But sometimes it hurts instead," 

Nothing compares, 
No worries or cares, 
Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made, 
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste? 

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you, 
I wish nothing but the best for you, 
Don't forget me, I beg, 
I remember you said, 
"Sometimes it lasts in love, 
But sometimes it hurts instead," 

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you, 
I wish nothing but the best for you, too, 
Don't forget me, I beg, 
I remember you said, 
"Sometimes it lasts in love, 
But sometimes it hurts instead," 
Sometimes it lasts in love, 
But sometimes it hurts instead.

These are the lyrics from Adele's song, "Someone Like You". I've been listening to this so much these last few days because it just sums up how I feel. I do want Mr Special to be happy, even if it's not with me. I hate it though... and it bloody does hurt like hell.

One day he will find that special someone, if it's not already the girl he is seeing. I am so jealous of her. What does she have or what does she give him that I cannot? They appear to have had a very nice holiday together - he returned this weekend just gone and had no hesitation in posting up photos on Facebook. Another nail in the coffin. Another reason for why I wish I had the strength in me to delete him from my Facebook account. There were a few coupley shots that tore at my heartstrings... 

We have not really spoken these last few weeks while he's been away. And I thought I was doing okay, but I'm not. I cried today for no apparent reason. I know it will take time, but I don't want to keep wasting time. This weekend was the 5th anniversary of my Uncle's death. It made me look back and realise that I've had this blog for well over a year now and I haven't really achieved much in that time, except go on about Mr Special. I wrote about my Uncle this time last year, and nothing much has changed... I don't feel like I've moved forward much at all.

And I only have myself to blame. But I just feel so stuck in this vortex of feelings that I can't control. I don't want to fast forward a year and still be writing about how I'm pining for someone who doesn't want to be with me. I wish I could see light at the end of the tunnel but it's still so dark for me.

I was in a shop over the weekend and was looking at something near the racks of reading glasses. There was an elderly couple there trying on glasses. The gentleman found some that he liked, and his wife asked if he could see properly out of them. He replied that now he could see how beautiful she was. It made me smile inside. I want someone who will be sweet and kind and do everything in their power to make me smile. 

It gives me hope that I will, someday, find someone like you Mr Special, but they won't want to hurt me.