Food, Glorious Food!

One of my most favourite things in the world is FOOD. I love eating. And I love cooking.

I've always loved food. I was a chubby child, always finishing the leftovers at mealtimes. I think I was the only person in my entire primary school who actually liked school dinners and went up for seconds. I think this is partly because it was such different food to what I was given at home, whereas the English kids ate stuff like pasta and shepherd's pie all the time so it wasn't really exciting or new for them.

I'd say I was quite a chubby teenager too, but then in my late teens when I went away to uni I did lose weight. Coupled with stress from exams and studying and pulling all-nighters, along with the continuous nights out dancing and drinking, I was probably at my skinniest when I was about 20 years old. Then I met H in my last year and we ended up living together after graduation... and as we spent more time indoors together my weight crept back up.

At my biggest I was a size 12. That's nothing, I hear you cry... and a size 12 isn't big or fat. But bear in mind that I am quite short and petite, so extra weight on me is more noticeable than on a taller person. I remember one New Year's Eve I was at H's parents' house and he took a photo of me sat in an armchair - oh my goodness! Double chin, podgy arms and rolls of flab around my belly. I was quite disgusted at myself.

I lost the majority of the weight when H and I broke up. I was distraught. I was so upset that I didn't actually eat. Usually when I'm upset I comfort eat, but a couple of times now I've been in such a bad way that I don't eat - that's when I know I'm really upset. I'm now a nice size 8-10 but I still have a very healthy appetite.

People keep trying to scare me by saying that my metabolism will go to pot when I hit 30, and that everything starts going south, and that I'll suffer from middle-age spread. Hmm. I don't know if that's true or not... I've been trying to eat better and do more exercise but I don't really seem to be getting into the swing of things.

For a while I tried grazing, having lots of little meals throughout the day to keep my energy levels up. I attempted the Atkins Diet, but I couldn't even go one day without carbs. I think I suit having proper meals with little or no snacking in between. I've been trying to feast like a King during the day, as in trying to take in the majority of my calorie intake at breakfast and lunch, and then eat like a pauper in the evening, thus having a smaller meal at dinner time so that I can use my calories in the day. Is it working? Hell, no! I'm finding that I'm eating more and more at lunchtime, yet still having the same kind of meal later on - I don't eat any less.

It is also difficult because I tend to go out for dinner quite a bit. The other day I went out to a lovely restaurant with Mr Special and indulged in a fancy 3 course meal plus wine and even dessert wine. It was soooooo good. I was completely full after that meal and didn't eat until the next day at lunchtime.

I don't really abide by any diet or rules as such. I eat what I like and when I like and how much I like. I'm guided by the principle that my body tells me what it needs... so I don't deprive myself if I fancy something sweet. I also don't take any vitamins or supplements, as I believe that we should get all our nutrients from the food we eat.

Is this the best way to eat? I don't know... but it seems to be working for me. I just need to work on the exercise part to tone myself up but apart from that I'm pretty happy with my shape and size. I watched 'The Ugly Face of Beauty' tonight on TV, and it showed so many people who were unhappy with their bodies that they had plastic surgery. I know I can't change some things about me, like my height, but the size and shape of your body can be changed with different eating habits and exercise. People opt for the quick fix, which can sometimes go wrong and have horrific consequences.

For now, I'm going to just eat whatever I fancy :-)