I hate Facebook. But I am addicted to it.
I joined back in February 2007 and at first I didn't really have much to do with it. As more and more of my friends joined, I slowly got sucked into the world of status updates, photos and applications.
Since the whole privacy issues surrounding Facebook came up, a few of my friends have actually deleted their accounts because they didn't want their details made available to all and sundry. I wish I had the willpower to delete my account.
I've found myself checking Facebook every moment that I can, looking at friends of friends, namely Mr Special's friends, trying to find a clue as to who he is dating. Every time he posts something I find myself reading and re-reading it and any comments, trying to figure out what is going on in his head, trying to find some clue as to why he doesn't want to be with me.
It's stupidly ridiculous. Firstly, I know you can't infer deeper meaning from the written word, it's like seeing a hidden meaning behind text messages, or seeing the positive side of things, making it fit your ideals when really it might not have any further meaning to it at all. It's like reading your horoscope in a newspaper or magazine and finding any small excuse to make it fit what is going on in your life. Secondly, Mr Special is not stupid - would he really post anything to do with his new lady friend on Facebook knowing full well that we are Facebook friends and I'd be able to see it? No. He says that he doesn't want to hurt me, and he knows how obsessed I am with Facebook :-)
Despite this, I still check it... and I know it's a futile exercise and a complete waste of my time. Yet I still do it. What is wrong with me?!
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