This week has been a busy one, which makes a nice change from last week being rather quiet. I'll blog about some of that stuff in a later post but I've just got to get something off my chest before I go mad from introspection.
Despite this week being fairly active and social, I don't think I have felt more alone. And I really thought about whether I should even admit to these feelings - especially online. But seeing as I feel like I have nowhere to turn to at the moment, it's better that I write down how I'm feeling rather than keeping it all bottled up inside.
It feels like everybody around me is so wrapped up in their own situations and thoughts that they've almost forgotten about me, that they don't have time for me anymore. And it's not even about Mr Special - not that I have been chewing everybody's ear off about him, in fact, I have deliberately not said much about him to anyone.
I don't know... maybe I'm being overly sensitive and paranoid about things but I feel like I'm not being included in things, simple things like being invited to certain events. When I find out about them, and it turns out that I couldn't make the event anyway, I just sort of feel that it would still be nice to have been asked, even if they also knew that I couldn't make it. Which in a couple of the cases they did...
I haven't really been able to share how I'm feeling with anybody either... I am trying to get my heart to see the sense that my head is telling me - for the events of the week and Mr Special. When will they see eye to eye? Or am I doomed to feel alone for the foreseeable future... I hope not :-)
Ohmygoodness! You are all the way in London, and yet . . . We are feeling the same thing. I have been feeling extremely lonely lately for all the same reasons.
ReplyDeleteI've tried to get out and serve a little more whenever I'm feeling that way. It helps. It doesn't make me feel perfect, but it helps.