I've had a few days off from writing - not because I've not got anything to say, but because I've been sorting out my life. Well, trying to! I've had some time off work to really think about things and do the stuff that I've been putting off or just not had time to do. Sorting out my finances and investments for the year, sorting out some of my wardrobe (which involved a trek through the rain to the local charity shop), and trying to sort out my holidays. I feel loads better for having done all this, and rather grown up too!
Looking back, I did spend much of the week on my own, which to be quite honest is probably what I needed. And this weekend I've had some real quality time on my own, chilling out and relaxing and reading - I can't actually remember the last time I sat down of an afternoon with my feet up and a good book for a couple of hours. I'm looking forward to a more social week this coming week though - there is only so much of my own company that I can take!!
Having said that, I had a really fun girly evening out with 3 girlfriends this weekend. We went out and had dinner and a few bottles of vino, and we went to the cinema to watch Sex and the City 2. Now, I've read a few reviews of this film, and they ranged from bad to worse. But having watched most of the series on TV and seen the first film, I figured what harm could it do to go and see the second film - apart from the extortionate ticket price being over a tenner? And you know what, I'm glad I did - despite the storyline being a bit silly, I laughed my socks off. Yes, there were a few tender moments but mostly it was an enjoyable and fun couple of hours. A few hours to escape the reality of my life and be transported into a frilly world of fun and fashion where everything turns out okay in the end. Yay for happy endings :-)
I did text back that guy - and I was quite pleased that he texted back the next day to say thanks and take care. It was very sweet of him actually. I feel relieved that I didn't have to lie to this guy, and neither am I stuck seeing him again. Perhaps honesty - as illustrated in SATC2 very nicely, if you have seen it - is the best policy after all.
Against my better judgement this week, I've also spoken to Mr Special several times... yes, you read that right - several times. At times it has been difficult and I did have a bit of a cry, other times it felt like he had never left. I don't know... it doesn't get any easier trying to get over someone no matter how many times you go through it. And you would think that by now I'd have some recipe for doing so... the other day I read an article with tips on how to get over someone, such as putting away gifts and items that remind you of them, check; returning things to each other, check; not keeping a memento like a t-shirt of his so that you can be reminded of him and his smell..... erm, no check. I do have an old t-shirt of his, simply because I had to borrow it one day, but I've washed it and it doesn't smell of him anymore, and to be fair it's not like I can return it now. Besides, it really is just an old grey t-shirt that I never even saw him wear and I don't think he is missing it.
But I know that's not the point - for me to move on I have to let go. And that is what I'm finding hard right now. Letting go of all these hopes and dreams, letting them fade into the proverbial sunset... I have to. I've sorted out so many other things in my life, this should be no different. However, on this occasion my feelings are ruled by my heart not my head, and my heart isn't quite ready to let go.
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