Some Alone Time

Despite having felt quite lonely recently, I've been away for a few days completely on my own without any communications with the outside world except for a couple of texts to let my family know that I'm okay. And you know what, I actually feel that I am okay. I wouldn't say that I'm back to my old self just yet, but I am definitely on the way.

No telephone calls, no emails, no messaging, nothing with Mr Special for the last few days... and I've survived it. And it can only get easier, can't it? Hopefully!

Although I've been feeling jealous about this girl, realistically it's not about her - it could be anyone. If he wasn't dating her, he would be dating someone else. He could be dating a million girls and it shouldn't matter. I shouldn't be directing my thoughts and time towards her, because she doesn't matter - and neither should he (although he still does) and I should be focusing on me. Because I matter. Alot.

For the past few days I've had quality time to myself, doing things I want to do - visiting places that have really made me appreciate who I am, catching up with some old uni friends over the weekend, meeting some new people who will in time, I hope, become good friends, lots of good food, relaxing time in the sun, a bit of exercise, and best of all, time off from work. I realised that I hadn't actually taken any proper leave this year apart from the odd day here and there so I thought it was a good time to take off and recharge my batteries.

I have a much more positive outlook on life at the moment, and I hope that this feeling lasts. I know that good things come to those who wait, but I guess you also have to be active in making your own luck. I've got loads of events coming up over the summer, and lots of ideas up my sleeve so I just have to set the wheels in motion... and I promise to faithfully blog my happy and not so happy experiences.

On a very personal note to end, I got my period today - which is a couple of days late for my cycle. Was I worried? Yes... a bit. With all the best intentions in the world no method of contraception is ever fool proof and a tiny part of me wondered whether I could be pregnant, and if I was, what would I do? It was a happy yet weird thought process, but I'm glad I no longer have to think about it :-)