I had a row with Mr Special. I feel really really crap about it. I won't go into too many details, as at the moment it is still very raw and private and I'm not sure how I feel.
I have found in my experience, that whenever I get annoyed with someone, especially guys that I'm dating or in a relationship with, I always end up feeling like I'm the one who is in the wrong.
I'm a great believer that communication is a key element to all relationships, whether they're with a special partner, a friend or work colleague. Yes, everyone always tells small white lies, but I don't think that big things should be kept from someone important. I always try to tell the truth, even though more often than not, the truth hurts. So I end up opening my stupid big mouth, blindly thinking that it's better to tell someone the truth, and that if the tables were turned I'd prefer to hear the truth - maybe that stems from having been lied to and cheated on in the past, I feel that now I'd rather know the truth over lies, even though it probably will hurt me a million times more. The truth is better than not knowing... I hate not knowing, having all these questions floating round and round in your head with no clear resolution.
In an ideal world, the person who you've just told something to would take on board what you've said, maybe apologise, or have some sort of reason for why. But in my cases, they turn it against me, almost in a 'shoot the messenger' kinda way. I end up feeling bad for having brought it up, and start saying sorry for hurting them, when they caused the initial hurt and all I was doing was expressing how I felt.
Why is it that I'm the one ending up feeling guilty???? I've spoken to a couple of people about this and they have found similar things.
Should I take this as a lesson in not divulging the truth to someone important? Perhaps then I wouldn't have had a row with Mr Special.
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