Text Communications

This is the post that I started earlier this week... and finished writing today, so apologies if the time line doesn't make sense!

On Monday evening a girlfriend and I were discussing a topic close to my heart - men and texting. It started with a comment that her partner had sent her a rather curt and short text over the weekend informing her that he would be home by a certain time and that he had made plans for one night this coming week. She asked, quite sadly, whether this was what texting had become for them, a simple means to convey diary appointments.

Hundreds of people would, at this point, shout yes. A text message is a simple means of communicating a short message to another person. If the message is very urgent or important then surely you'd pick up the telephone and speak to them, or, heaven forbid, go and do it in person!

I agree with this, but I also think that a text can be more. It can be a sweet message of love, to tell someone that you were just thinking of them, a naughty text to get your partner in the mood, so many things.

I think for the majority of guys, they see it as a means to an end, to pass on some vital information. They're not flowery, and don't even get me started on the subject of whether they've included a kiss at the end of it or not! Women do tend to over-analyse and deconstruct sentences and words to see if there is some kind of hidden meaning behind the message. I should know, so many times I've sat re-reading text messages because I thought there was some meaning there, some hidden message of love.

Earlier this year my old mobile phone completely died and it wouldn't even switch on or anything - I lost over 2 years' worth of text messages from loved ones, including Mr Special, and a couple of other guys that I dated before him. I was really upset about this, partly because it documented a whole chunk of my life, and partly because I had some really lovely messages on there. There was nothing I could do to retrieve these messages, and even today it still makes me a little sad that I can't read them. I'd actually really love to read all my old texts from Mr Special... in the past he has sent me some really sweet messages that made me go all gooey inside.

It makes me feel sad for the demise of the written love letter. My very first love used to write me actual paper letters, which was a revelation in itself as he is the geekiest person I know! But I cherish them because they represent his feelings for me... something tangible, not just something in the ether. It is such a romantic and old-fashioned notion but I would love it if I were to receive a love letter from someone special. Not just an email or a text, but a letter or a card or even a little postcard.

I received a few text messages from Mr Special today. Being the idiot that I am, I did reply to him. I'm going to try really hard to not be in contact with him. I think it will do me good, and help me to heal from these wounds that are so fresh, and with him not even being in the same country now, at least I can't be tempted to drop by or call him and ask if I can see him.

This weekend I'm going to put away everything that reminds me of him. He's bought me a few things over the last year and a bit, and for me they all have memories of him attached to them. I actually have one of his favourite jumpers here, and a couple of t-shirts - have to try to resist burying my nose in them to try and smell his scent. I'm missing him already and it's not even been for very long - heck he's been away longer on business trips and holidays before and I've been fine. I think this time there is a sense of finality so it feels different, I know I won't see him again for a very long time and it makes me feel very sad.

I must resist texting him!!!