I'm completely exhausted... Not looking forward to getting up tomorrow to go to work. I've had a great weekend but it's been completely knackering playing with little kids both on Saturday and Sunday. And... I think I'm visiting another friend next weekend to see her 2 little ones as well!
It's made me feel really broody. I see these couples with their happy families and I just think to myself, I want that. I want to be with someone who I really love, who loves me back, and to have a baby. A family. I've always wanted to be a wife and mother, and at the moment I feel like a bit of a failure because it seems so out of reach. A goal that I will never attain...
Sometimes I think that I love my life the way it is, no complications or commitments or obligations. Everything I do is based around me. But I really want to have that family network around me, to look after them, be nurturing and maternal. I know it will be hard work and tiring, I've seen first hand how hard it can be, especially if your partner doesn't really help out. But I want it, I always have.
I hope that when the times comes, if it does, that I will be a good mother. It's easy to judge and say things knowingly when you haven't experienced things for yourself - I guess you can apply that to most situations. But hopefully I'll have the benefit of my own mum, and my sisters and relatives, and my partner to be there for me.
I'm really looking forward to those days. And I do hope that they are in my future somewhere :-)
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