Another year older...

... But not necessarily wiser.

I can't believe it's been another year. I started off with such good intentions of regularly blogging but I have been rubbish.

When I last blogged, I had just been on a few dates with the older man I'd previously dated. However, after I found out that he was still active in the online dating world, I ended that pretty sharpish and I haven't spoken to or seen him since. I found that really easy to let go of, as a couple of weeks later I met a new guy, let's call him Mr Sporty, as he loves watching and playing sport, and things snowballed from a few conversations to our magical first date, to him giving me keys to his flat, mini-breaks away and what I thought to be a very promising relationship. Unfortunately, that ended in April this year, and since then I've been fighting a losing battle to get over him.

Since turning the ripe old age of 33, I've been making more of a concerted effort to forget about Mr Sporty, but I had a setback last night when I saw that he had befriended a girl on Facebook. Yes, my nemesis Facebook. I love it, but I also hate it, and I haven't had the strength to remove him from my list of friends. It may be a completely innocent friend, or it might be a new lady interest. Either way, it really upset me and I went to bed crying and didn't sleep very well.

I know I have to get over him, it's been almost 6 months since we broke up and I've not moved on. I had hoped that things could be resolved, but as more time passes it seems less likely. I've not actually seen him for almost 2 months, and I think our last conversation was about a month ago. It has been really hard to not talk to him, or contact him in any way. I thought it was hard with Mr Special, but this time round it seems to have been even harder. Every time even the smallest thing makes me want to text him, or call him. We used to spend hours on the phone, and now it's nothing.

Wow, I really have not moved on in my life in a year. Two steps forward and 3 steps back... I am, to quote my own words, pining after someone who doesn't want to be with me.

Okay, now that I have admitted, yet again, in a public forum no less, what a loser I am, this is the end of this crap year. Things are going to get better, starting from now. The first day of the rest of my life.

Go me :-)